Lohud Lowdown

Hola, TV lovers! It’s time…the red carpet is rolled out and the stars are about to arrive at the 64th Primetime Emmy Awards.

I’ll be here all night live-blogging the event (from my living room, of course, watching – and possibly laughing at certain celebrities – just like you!). Post your own thoughts below – I’d love to see what you think, too!

So, without further ado, let’s get ready to rumble…

6:00 p.m.: And here we go! Apparently E!’s Giuliana Rancic and Kelly Osbourne are going to do a costume change, which is good, since they both look like brides.

6:02: And first up on the E! red carpet is Modern Family’s Jesse Tyler Ferguson, a nominee for Supporting Actor in a Comedy. Love the plaid bow tie. And yowch – just caught a glimpse of  Homeland’s Morena Baccarin in the crowd. Can’t wait to see more of that dress!

6:03: Oh dear. E! has introduced the ManiCam in addition to the StilettoCam and Glam Cam.

6:05: I’m sorry, did Ryan Seacrest actually just bust Giuliana for her spray tan? Pot, kettle…

6:09: Kat Dennings from 2 Broke Girls looks fantastic in that crimson gown by J. Mendel – and has just informed us that a wardrobe malfunction is indeed possible tonight.

6:11: Jena Malone follows up with another J. Mendel gown – this one in rust. Is Giuliana seriously asking her if she’s keeping the plot of the next Hunger Games movie a secret? Is she not aware that there are these things called BOOKS that the movies are based on?

6:13: I need to be reminded again what exactly qualifies Kelly Osbourne and Ross Mathews as fashion critics.

6:14: WhEE! Love Mayim Bialik in that Pamella Roland. Interviewed her recently and she told me that she doesn’t do strapless or sleeveless because of religious beliefs, so red carpet dressing is a challenge. She should give her stylist a bonus!

6:23: Padma Lakshmi is a beautiful woman in a flowing tangerine Monique Lhuiller, but she seems like a bit of a snore.

6:25: Rimshot! Jimmy Fallon makes the night’s first (of what will likely be many) Amanda Bynes and Clint Eastwood jokes.

6:30: Max Greenfield!!! Max Greenfield!!! Max Greenfield!!!

6:32: Oh my. Lena Dunham is wildly talented and quirky and I applaud her for doing her own thing style-wise. Love the new short hair, love the smoky eye makeup. But that lace dress is a shapeless, sloppy mess.

6:35: Ginnifer Goodwin could teach a class in doing the red carpet Sexy Face.

6:40: Ginnifer is also wearing a Monique Lhuiller gown that will likely split fashionistas down the middle. I think I’m on the ‘love it’ side. It’s unusual and dramatic – but I think I’d love it more without the asymetrical hemline.

6:42: Connie Britton, I love you and will totally watch you in Nashville. But that half-up-half-down hairdo is just not working for you.

6:44: Go, Edie Falco! Looking AH-mazing in a sleek pony and black racerback gown. Glimpses of Glenn Close so far unfortunately do not look promising.

6:47: Now that I’ve seen all of Connie Britton, she looks…pretty.

6:48: Ooh, and now she’s joined by Hayden Panettiere, who’s wearing Marchesa. Love the dark blue sheer draping over the gold lace; it reminds me of an Indian sari. And if she wasn’t acting, she’d probably open a wildlife preserve. No, I’m not kidding.

6:54: And now that I’ve seen more of Edie Falco, I love her choice even MORE. So unusual for her, a colorblocked Stella McCartney, perhaps?

6:55: Whoa, easy there, Heidi Klum. You are a gorgeous lady – you fool, Seal, you fool! – but no need to show the world your lady business. And TWO high slits? Even Angelina Jolie didn’t go that far.

6:58: Melissa McCarthy is wonderful and fun, but she needs to stop “collaborating” with designers. Black is always great for these formal events, but with the thick clutch bag and heavy lace material, she looks like she’s going to a funeral.

7:00: Switching to ABC’s pre-show. Hey, Lara Spencer, you’re not supposed to show up the celebs, you know. Good job, America, for choosing that ruched one-shoulder Badgley Mischka.

7:02: Sheesh, Jimmy Fallon, get some new material. Just made the exact same Amanda Bynes and Clint Eastwood jokes to ABC as he did to E!.

7:04: My, my, Miss Amy Poehler, can we say cleavage? Good for you, girl. Funny girls can be sexy, too. And forget Neil Lane! Wear your kid’s toy ring and look just as fantastic.

7:09: Contrived banter with fans, as ABC pretends that Melissa McCarthy’s reps haven’t already okayed whatever “random” question this woman from the bleachers is going to ask…

7:12: ABC has Heidi Klum, too. I’m giggling as Clinton Kelly points out that her slit/s may get her arrested. She notes that she wanted “something happy” with her seafoam gown. Hear that, Seal? Suck it!

7:16: Goodness, Michael J. Fox is charming. How many actors would point out that he lost in both of the Emmy categories in which he was nominated? Love him.

7:17: This bit with Modern Family’s Rico Rodriguez is embarrassing. For him, for me, for all of us.

7:18: Kristen Wiig, does your stylist make you sign a contract that stipulates that you cannot wear color? Please: Teal. Oxblood. Emerald. Anything that doesn’t make you look like an over-bleached dishrag. Wait, she’s joking that she told her stylist she wanted to look like “a ghost.” Well, mission accomplished.

7:23: Acid-green Dior Couture on Julianne Moore. Great color, but not sure if the outside corset is doing anything for her upstairs.

7:25: Va-va-voom Vergara! She looks like a sexy sequined peacock. I’d hate her if she didn’t seem like such a hoot.

7:26: OK Chris Harrison, we get it – it’s hot in L.A. today. And I don’t believe for a second that this “random fan” asking Melissa McCarthy  a question isn’t in the business. Then again, who knew Melissa once worked for Weird Al Yankovic?!?

7:30: I don’t think it can be said enough: Jon Hamm is handsome. I think this will be his year for Best Actor. Hard to believe Mad Men has won so many Emmys for the series,  yet he’s never picked up a trophy.

7:36: Stephen Colbert can do no wrong. Geeking out about The Hobbit on the red carpet rocks.

7:39: Elisabeth Moss may not be nominated this year for Mad Men, but that Dolce & Gabbana floral print is a winner.

7:45: Christina Hendricks is working that Christian Siriano, but I wish she’d worn a color. And while she’s beautiful a terrific actress, Chris Harrison, I hardly think that she and her husband are “Hollywood royalty.”

7:49: AHA! I was right: Edie Falco is in Stella McCartney. I cannot get over how incredible she looks, though I can’t imagine what the “uncomfortable” dresses must feel like.

7:55: Clinton Kelly’s top 3 best-dressed: Connie Britton, Hayden Panettiere and Elisabeth Moss. Eh, 2 out of 3 ain’t bad.

7:58: Thought Zooey Deschanel would wear something a bit more whimsical. In fact, her pale lilac frock is quite sophisticated. Glad she’s realized that the little girl outfits are wearing a little thin.

AND NOW ON TO THE MAIN EVENT…

8:02: Oof. Jimmy Kimmel getting punched by a bunch of actresses? If this is a hint of what’s to come from, we’re in for a long night.

8:05: Lady Mary, lookin’ glam! Weird to see the Downton Abbey crew out of costume…

8:08: Awkward that Kimmel points out that none of the major networks – as in, ABC, the network that employs him, and the network airing this awards show – were nominated in the Best Drama category.

8:13: Aww, Eric Stonestreet is great on Modern Family, but I was hoping Max Greenfield would win for Supporting Actor in a Comedy. I totally watch New Girl just for Schmidt.

8:15: Prediction? Sofia Vergara takes Supporting Actress in a Comedy. But I hope it’s Mayim Bialik.

8:20: Anyone else catch a peek of Nicole Kidman looking both irritated and bored as Louie C.K. won an Emmy? You know she’s telling Keith Urban that as soon as she loses in the miniseries category, they’re outta there.

8:22: Isn’t it in poor taste to have the Breaking Bad guys “shoot” Don Knotts, since he’s no longer with us?

8:23: Yowza. Is it time for Kat Dennings’ wardrobe malfunction?

8:24: Wow, Julie Bowen steals it from Sofia Vergara. Vergara gives her a loud cheer, and Bowen gives a classy speech thanking Vergara  - as well as who I assume are her kids’ nannies.  Nice.

8:31: Indeed, Matthew Perry, why does the academy insist on announcing guest actor and actress on the show as if those awards haven’t already been given out? Mysterious.

8:33: Gee, anyone else predict another Modern Family sweep?

8:34:  6 minutes to Stephen Colbert? Um, okaaaaay….

8:36: Ben Chang/Mr. Chow as the replacement for Modern Family’s Lily? Genius.

8:37: Mindy Kaling and Melissa McCarthy need to present together at every awards show.

8:39: Are. You. Kidding. Me. Yes, Jon Cryer , something has gone terribly wrong. Unfortunately, this DID just happen.

8:44: Forget Kimmel, let’s get Colbert to host the next Emmys.

8:46: Cute schtick with the Poehler-Louis-Dreyfus speech switcheroo.

8:51: It’s insane that the Amazing Race has won this category this many times, yet I’ve never seen a single episode.

8:58: Way to ad lib, Seth MacFarlane!

8:59: And yes, that will be on YouTube tomorrow.

9:01: Tom Bergeron’s acceptance speech for Best Reality Host was surprisingly entertaining! Too bad he’s not that amusing on Dancing with the Stars.

9:02: This drama recap is a serious reminder of how CRAZY strong this category is this year. I honestly have no idea what’s going to win. But in my humble opinion, Mad Men shouldn’t become the most honored drama EVER. You may start screaming now.

9:05: Whoa, total surprise with Aaron Paul. Lovely to see so much love from Giancarlo Esposito, who was a favorite to win.

9:06: Oh, and Claire Danes is possibly the least pregnant-looking – and best-dressed – pregnant lady that ever lived.

9:11: Oops, I just realized that Elisabeth Moss IS nominated for Mad Men. She’ll still be wearing a great dress if she wins Best Actress.

9:13: This silliness with Tracy Morgan wasn’t funny until he said, “Hold my nunchucks.”

9:15: Homeland wins for Best Writing! Could this be a sign?

9:16: What a great backstory from the writers of Homeland!

9:17: Go Maggie, go Maggie, go Maggie!! Who doesn’t love the Dowager Countess?!?

9:24: What the heck is going on with Jeremy Davies’ hair?!? Please tell me it’s for a role: He looks like a drunk four-year-old got hold of his head.

9:25: Boardwalk Empire picks up the directing award: The Best Drama field is even fuzzier now.

9:27: How did I miss Julianna Margulies on the red carpet? Breathtaking.

9:28: WHOOOO! DAMIAN LEWIS WINS FOR HOMELAND!!! I totally thought Jon Hamm had it in the bag. Lewis deserves it: You would NEVER know he was British on Homeland, and he keeps you guessing from minute to minute about his character’s motives.

9:30: And now the scales tip in Homeland’s favor for Best Drama.

9:31: So will Claire Danes take Best Actress in a Drama? It’s still hers to lose.

9:38: And…Danes takes it. And while she’s clearly a wonderful actress, she just cannot pull off the phrase, “Holla.” Especially when it refers to Mandy Patinkin.

9:40: This is the point where I usually fall asleep for an hour and wake up just in time for the final categories…

9:42: Earlier, I said: Why is Emma Stone at the Emmys? Then realized it was Suburgatory’s Jane Levy. So is it weird that the Academy Awards clip they used for Best Variety Show actually referenced Emma Stone, when Jane Levy is presenting the category?

9:45: Louis C.K. is on fire! (And psst, it’s 4 minutes to Ricky Gervais.)

9:51: Pretty funny that Variety Directing puts Louis C.K. against the New York City Ballet.

9:55: The Daily Show…again. Worth it just to see Colbert and Fallon trip Jon Stewart up on the way to the stage.

9:58: And…Stewart drops the f-bomb. That skit with Colbert and Fallon must have rattled his brains a bit.

10:02: Wow, Jimmy Kimmel’s parents are really good sports.

10:05: Did anyone think Jessica Lange was going to lose the Emmy for American Horror Story?

10:13: And mark Kerry Washington down for my best-dressed list…

10:14: Tom Berenger wins for…oh, let’s face it, I really don’t care.

10:17: How great is it that Ron Howard still acknowledges his start on the Andy Griffith Show?

10:20: Huh? Steve Jobs in the Emmy memorial section?

10:24: Can we just hand the Miniseries/Movie awards to American Horror Story, Connie Britton and Benedict Cumberbatch and skip ahead to Best Drama/Comedy please?

10:26: Lucy Liu shows all of us how not to wear sequins. She looks like Robot Barbie.

10:28: Aha, that’s why Tom Hanks is at the Emmys: He produced Game Change.

10:28: And Julianne Moore picks up Lead Actress in a TV Movie, and pokes fun at Sarah Palin. Wait, it took TWO HOURS in hair and makeup to transform her into Sarah Palin?

10:30: I know Hatfield & McCoys was well-received, but it will be a travesty if Kevin Costner or Bill Paxton wins over Benedict Cumberbatch. Mostly because he’s brilliant as Sherlock, but also because I just love saying his name. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!!

10:35: Jon Stewart has officially gone bananas.

10:38: Damn you, Costner. BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH, BENEDICT CUMBERBATCH!!

10:39: Sheesh, how old is Kevin Costner: Who watches TV in reruns anymore?

10:46: Game Change wins for TV movie: Emmy voters apparently like them edgy, but not that edgy. Sorry, American Horror Story. And bravo, Tom Hanks, that’s the way to make a speedy acceptance speech. In and out.

10:48: Yes! Homeland is this year’s Best Drama. And it totally is. (P.S. I got a peek at the first 2 eps of Season 2, and these folks will probably be up there again next year.)

10:51: Way to stick it to the Big Bang Theory, Emmys: It’s the highest rated comedy series that’s never won the top honors, so could this be their year? Uh, in a word, no.

10:55: Michael J. Fox gets a standing o’ – love it.

10:59: No big surprise: Modern Family wins Best Comedy. But whoa: Creator Steven Levitan gets dissed big time when his speech is cut off. My clock says he had a minute left Kimmel!

11:00: And that’s it, folks: I’ve had a blast watching with you. Have a good night, and another good year of TV watching!